Christmas this year

Christmas this year was not what it was supposed to be.
Part of the problem is that I kinda have unrealistic expectations, like I want the season to be filled with snow in San Francisco, and for people to ride around in horse-drawn sleighs, to have my front yard look slightly like Vermont and sit by a roaring fire every night after having a snowball fight with the kids I don't have. . . But part of the problem is that I work too much. Or, most of the problem is that I work too much.
I made a post a few weeks ago about my busy December schedule and how I want to change that in the future, but it just got worse since then. I was working super long hours the entire month and then for the past 10 days or so it was like 14 hours a day and I was staying there until 1:00 and 2:00 in the morning. I worked all the way up until Christmas Eve night and then was so lacking in spirit, I could hardly even enjoy the holiday. I was so so tired on Christmas day, my eyes stung and I just felt a little zombie-ish. But here's the real problem- I don't even know how to change this. The first step is admitting it's a problem, right? So here I am, telling the entire internets :) But mainly, I guess this post is just for me, to remind myself next year how much I hated this, to remind myself that it's just not worth it. I don't have to take every single job that comes to me, and I have to get more organized so that I can have a more clear time-line in place.
Anyway, I love my family and my friends and my dogs, and I'm sorry I didn't spend more time with them this year. During the time of year when I believe I am most aware of how much I love them, I managed to ignore them the most. I also love my Savior and the way in which thinking of Him makes me want to be better person and I'm sorry I didn't spend more time pondering and doing those things, again, during the time of year that is specifically set aside for such.
What I did have time to do this year was listen to lots of Christmas music. Since I spent a lot of hours in front of my computer, I had a lot of time to at least listen to ideas of love and peace and goodness and eggnog. This year, this one was my favorite. So simple and so perfect. And next Christmas, I'm determined to make This Christmas the case.